I woke up early yesterday to clean the house and let Eric sleep in since he's been doing all the work around here for the past few months. As I was cleaning the song Halleliugh by Heather Williams came on. I instantly hit my knees. I was missing Avery a ton and that song was just what I needed to hear. As tears were streaming down my face my sweet Brodie boy came up and gave me sugar, which scared me because my eyes were closed.
I was miserable the rest of the day. I finished cleaning and bless poor Eric's heart, he didn't wake until 11. I maybe said 4 words to him until 6ish, and that was just me saying "yeah" when he would ask me if I was okay. I bawled and bawled numerous times thoughout the day. We went to dinner with some friends so that got me in somewhat of a better mood. Then when we laid down for bed I lost it. The pain I feel for the loss of our daughter was unbareable. Thank goodness Eric was able to talk me through it. I am so blessed and thankful to have him.
Today was a much better day. Well, except for either the tummy bug I picked up or food poisioning from dinner last night. I had to go today for my two week check up (even though I was feeling cruddy) and per the physician my incision is healing well. She is such a nice lady! She sat and talked about how we are coping and talked about Avery and how everyone talked about how adorable she was! As much as I liked my previous OB-GYN I am gonna stick with her. Which with our next child we will be considered high risk and will see Dr. Welt until we are cleared to go back to low risk. And I can say that with confidince. I know now how to pray for a healthy child, not to ask for a healthy child but to speak it in my prayers. I know God wants to bless us with a healthy child, no one will ever replace Avery but I think having another one will help with the healing process.
Here's to a good tomorrow!
Becky and Eric,
ReplyDeleteBecky it is okay to cry and scream, but always remember that Eric is hurting also. He has been your rock. He has had to be the strong person. He is there with you and going through this also. He needs to talk just like you need to talk. Don't hide your feelings from him and have him to share his feelings with you. You two are each others comforters with God's help. As women, we tend to forget that our strong husbands hurt also. They just don't express it as we do. Sometimes we shut them out and think they will not understand but we have to at least share our feelings. Please continue to be there for each other because you two make a beautiful couple. You were Avery Grace's parents and you two made a beautiful baby girl with a loving heart. So remember what God put together do not let anything pull it apart. Love each other always.
Love You
Sharon Wooden