Today was the first day I was able to get out and not have a break down or become so anxious I needed to get home as soon as possible.
I had a few errands to run, get gas, and go by the bank before I met two great friends for lunch at Salsarita's. I was dreading going by the bank because they knew I was pregnant but figured my mother had told them of Avery's passing or that they had at least seen it in the paper. Well.....the lady that was at the drive thru didn't know, she asked how my baby girl was doing, I told her she was doing just great, that she was in Heaven now. As tears formed in her eyes she appologized with all her heart.
After lunch Andi and I went for a manicure and pedicure. The owner there is hilarious! He is Vietnamese and just like my dad on political views. When we got there he was going off about Obama and I had to translate for him a few times to the other customers as he told them to do stuff. It made me feel normal, not like the lady who's daughter died 2 weeks ago of a rare skeletal dysplasia. Although that is who I am, well, not exactly, I am a mother and a child of God. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who was perfect in every way. I felt no love like the love I felt when I laid eyes on her for the first time. I still feel that love when I think of her, see pictures of her, and feel her arms around me as she comforts me in my time of hurt. She was my best accomplishment.
Eric and I have been blessed by so many in our community. The funeral home provided her services at no charge, we asked that instead of flowers being sent to us that people used that money to make a donation to the childrens hospital,there were minimal flowers at the funeral so that makes me think there is a generous amount of money going to help those sweet babies and children. Eric and I both work at The Campus and they took up a donation for us to help with mine and Avery's medical bills. We are sooo blessed even in our time of trial. We know our Lord will always take care of us.
All of this isn't to say we don't hurt. We hurt, we cry, wonder why, and never want anyone to forget Avery. She was an angel on earth. She brought thousands together in prayer, brought people closer to God, and brought Eric and I indescribable joy :)
That was a beautiful posting. I am continuing to pray for you daily, even if I don't tell you. She is beautiful and there is no doubt she is watching over you as she's running and playing through the streets of heaven. Some of us have to live on this earth for 80 to 90 years before we can accomplish God's plan. Avery was so special and perfect, that she was able to do it in 3 days. There are going to be so many stories about people coming to know the Lord or people "fixing" their own relaitonships with a spouse, child or other family member that you will never even hear of. But this will all be thanks to the Lord working through you, Eric and Avery. Avery was a perfect missionary. God uses us all different ways and in all different places. Jeremiah 29:11
ReplyDeleteI love you all, will continue to pray for you for years to come and will never forget the beautiful pictures of Avery I have seen. God bless you, Eric and Avery.