Friends

Last night my girlfriends came over and brought dinner for me. After we had finished eating Duncan had a sneaky grin on her face and was holding a bag in her hand......if you know this girl you never know what she is up to :) We were all on the couch, she handed me a card, and passed around a wrapped boxes to all the girls. I opened Duncan's first, it was a bracelet, I thanked her for the bracelet and put it on :) Well, I then had to take it off because I was told too, Rose held it out for me. They each handed me their gifts and in each box was a charm to go on the bracelet! Each was something special that meant alot about Avery and her short life. We all sat and cried. I tried to lighten the mood by saying who the gift was from and something that was funny and personal between me and that person. We then endulged in a honeybun cake, played apples to apples, and reverted back to 10th grade :) I am soo blessed to have such wonderful ladies in my life! Ones to help me through the pain, lift me up, and let me know that they haven't forgotten Avery.


Some say time heals all wounds. But I don't know about the wound of losing a child. It gets harder and harder every day. The longing gets worse. Some days I can function, others I just sit on the couch in shear misery. I just sit and cry. Stare off into space. Wonder what she's doing in Heaven. Wonder what she looks like. Mainly ponder on what life would be like if she were here. I want soooo badly to touch her. Last night ET asked me what was the first thing I wanted to do with Avery was when we got to heaven. I couldn't narrow it down to one thing but the three most important are to kiss her, hug her, and tell her a thousand times that I love her.


I have always felt I was in God's will. That he had something very special ahead of me and was going to do big things in my life for Him. I had no idea that it was to witness to others through the loss of my daughter though. The only way I can survive this is to glorify Him for her life and for the purpose she served.