Happy 4 Month Angel Day Avery!

Avery was welcomed into the Lords Kingdom 4 months ago today. I can't believe it's been 4 months. It seems like it was just yesterday when I found out we were expecting her. All I could think about this morning is when we said our good bye's to her. I still can't believe I was able to walk away from her that day. I feel like a horrible mother because I walked away from her. I wish we would have stayed longer but we knew the longer we stayed the worse it would get. She had already left this earth but her body was just so precious to us. It's still hard to fathom what happened. I talk about her all the time, I love telling new people about her, and what a great work she did for Jesus. So, she is alive in my heart but I would give my life to have her here.
I would have gladly taken her pain so she wouldn't have had to endure any of it. Avery basically smothered to death and I would have traded places with her if I was given the option to.
I would have done it so I could watch Eric be a wonderful father.
I would have done it because that is what any mother would have done.
I am not saying I wish I was dead so please don't take it that way, I am just saying I would have taken her suffering from her if I could have.

At times it feels as if we are standing still. That everything and everyone around us goes on and we are stuck. I feel like we are in a rut. We used to talk to her nightly and we don't do that anymore. I still write her letters but not as frequently. I feel like I am saying the same thing over and over to her. I am sure she doesn't mind thought :)

In my last blog I talked about the job hunt not going so well. Well, on Thursday I received 2 job offers within 5 minutes. I was offered the IT job I wanted and I was offered a job to work at the First Assist that my current clinic is turning into. Apparently they got the impression I am good at what I do so the practice manager and the lead physician put their heads together to come up with an idea to keep me and they wrapped two positions into one and offered it to me. All I can say is wow! I guess my hard work has paid off! I am blessed to have these two jobs offered to me but now I have to make a choice. I hate making choices!