Dr. Misery,
You first made your appearance known to me on Monday, it is now Wednesday and I am tired of your company. I will ask that you kindly leave my home. Thanks, Becky.
I haven't cried this much or been this miserable in months. I don't know what is wrong with me.
Eric and I went to Rain, a local restaurant, for dinner tonight. We decided to run on down to Bristol while we were out and go to Best Buy and Target. I don't know what it is about Target but I always lose it in there. I walked by the toddler clothes and did okay, looked at some of the cute Halloween shirts.....then the baby clothes are next. I couldn't help but stop and touch a few of them. There was a stuffed elephant with it's trunk up so I had to play with it for a minute. What in the world was I thinking? There are a few ways I can navigate Target and avoid the baby items all together. I guess I like to punish myself.
I am sorry the past few blogs aren't up lifting as they usually are. I could make them that way but that's not whats on my heart and mind right now. All I know is that I never thought I would be going through anything like this, or even anything remotely close to it.
No one should see their infant take their last breath. No one should long to see their child again or touch them again. I want to smell her. I want to feel her warm chubby hand on my face as I feed her. I want to hear her squill with laughter. I want to hear her cry because she needs something. I want her. Point blank.
No comments:
Post a Comment